Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. —Matthew 10:37 (ESV)

When I was in college, I wanted to get a tattoo. I asked my dad if he thought this was a good idea, and he asked me why I wanted a tattoo. I said, “I want to be my own person. A tattoo is my own mark on my body. It’s a sign of distinct identity.” My dad then asked if other college students had tattoos, and I let him know that they were very popular on campus. And then, my dad asked a brilliant question: “So, you want to be different from everyone else by doing what everyone else is doing?”

In his book, The Call: Finding and Fulfilling God’s Purpose for Your Life, Os Guinness writes that God’s people “are called by God to be distinctively different, that assimilation may be as disastrous as defeat, and that times of success may be more dangerous to faithfulness than times of rejection and persecution.” This quote and the chapter in which it appears are compelling. As Christians, we must not give in to the twin temptations to compromise our faith or to assimilate into the culture. And that brings up an important question.

What does it mean to be distinctively different?

I’ll be direct. I think most of us have a shallow answer to this question. We define “distinctively different” primarily or even exclusively in moralistic terms. “I don’t smoke, and I don’t chew, and I don’t go with girls that do.” So, I’ve checked the box to be different, right?

I’m not sure.

When Jesus said, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me,” I don’t think he was just talking about not drinking more than one beer at a party, not watching R-rated movies, and trying not to cuss when you hit your thumb with a hammer.

At this point, many Christians will say, “Yes! We’re also different because we go to church. My unsaved neighbors don’t do that!” But we often think of going to church as part of our moral performance. Instead of belonging to a church out of love for God and fellow believers, we participate because it’s what we think we’re supposed to do.

What I’m getting at is this: Too often, we Christians define “being different” as “being a good person.” So, we do the things that we think will make us good people: we go to church a couple of times a month, we say grace before supper, we sometimes read the verse of the day that pops up from our Bible App, and we’ve got the local Christian radio station on our car’s list of saved channels.

But Jesus meant something more. Loving family members is far deeper than moralistic performance. When Jesus said his disciples must love him more than they love their own family, he was cutting to the heart of our most deeply held loves and values.

To be distinctively different means not only to act differently but to love differently.

Even though we claim to follow Jesus, we often simply accept the values of the world around us. We’re quick to ask, “Is this the right thing to do?” but we forget to ask, “Is this the right thing to think?” Society today tells us the good life is found in living for self, pursuing our own happiness, casting off any restraint that keeps us from running our own lives, making more money, owning more things, having more sex, getting more followers, and buying the latest device.

As Christians, we must stop and ask whether the world’s definition of the good life is correct. If we blindly accept the idea that the good life is found in individualistic self-fulfillment, then we’re not really any different than anyone else in society. We might pursue that end through different means (e.g., moralism instead of hedonism), but at the end of the day, we’re all just chasing the same thing because we all love the same thing: self-actualization.

To be distincitvely different means to reject the world’s definition of the good life. We love Jesus more than we love anything else—even good things like our own family members. We don’t love the way the world loves. We don’t think the way the world thinks. We don’t see the way the world sees. We don’t value what the world values in the same order or priority. And because we are distinctively different at the deepest level, we don’t live the way the world lives.

For many Christians, our morals differ, but our loves are the same as the world’s. And thus, one has only to scratch the surface to find that our lives are essentially the same as those of our unsaved neighbors. But when our loves are different, our lives will be different, and so—by the way—will our morals.

Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.

—Job 1:21, NIV

I love J. R. R. Tolkien’s books. I recently started reading The Hobbit aloud with my youngest son and noticed the poetry anew. At various points throughout the story, the characters sing. Sometimes the songs are silly, and sometimes they have important contextual clues to the storyline. I’ll be honest, most of the time I’m tempted to skip the poetry and get on with the story. But, not this time!

Authors use poetry in a narrative for a variety of reasons. It could be comic relief, foreshadowing, context, or an expression of the scene's emotion. Biblical authors use poetry in similar ways. It’s especially important to pay attention to poetry in the Bible when it pops up in the middle of a story.

When the human authors were writing Scripture under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, they had no real way to use formatting to emphasize their point. Today, you might read something in bold and know that the word or sentence is significant. In the Bible, before such formatting was invented, authors had to be more creative. They emphasized important things through repetition, style, and pattern.

Much of the Bible is written in story form, with poetry sprinkled throughout the narratives, not unlike the songs that appear from time to time in The Hobbit. In most modern English translations, sections of poetry will be offset in some way. Usually, they’re indented with shorter lines and clear stanzas, like the way the NIV formats Job 1:21.

When you’re reading a story, and it pauses for a poem, don’t skip it to get on with the story! That poem is a break in the pattern. It might add context, foreshadow, build suspense, heighten emotion, or even provide comic relief. And it could very well reveal the main point of the story, or at least of that part of the story. So, when you find a poem in the middle of a story, ask what the poem is doing. What effect does it have on the story? What effect does it have on you?

Whether the poem is the point or serving some other purpose, you’ll benefit by pausing to pay attention to the poetry.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you,” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

What is prayer? Is it talking to God? What about listening to God? Is it 30 minutes at the beginning of the day, in your quiet time? Is it taking notice of God in moments throughout the day?

If prayer is talking to God, what happens when you run out of things to say? It might surprise you to hear that I’m not typically a big talker (even though, as a pastor, I talk for a living). I’ve always been impressed by people who have a lot to say in their prayers. I’ve often wished I could think of all those things to ask God for my kids/wife/neighbor/etc.

If prayer is listening to God, what happens when God is silent? Did I pray? Was God there? Did he want me to talk—is that why he was quiet? Was that last thought mine, or was God speaking? If God isn’t talking during my listening prayer, does that mean I’ve offended him in some way? Is there a sin I forgot to confess? Is this listening prayer even working?

If prayer happens in your quiet time, does that mean you don’t need to pray the rest of the day? Surely not. But why do pastors frequently encourage people to have a quiet time if prayer should happen throughout the day? Can I pray while I’m working on something, or do I need to stop whatever else I’m doing, close my eyes, and bow my head?

And that brings up another question. What is the right posture for prayer? Should I kneel, sit, or stand? I’ve read in the Bible about people lying facedown on the ground in prayer… is that what I should do? Can I prayer-walk? What about prayer-running? Prayer-calisthenics? Can I check off two boxes at once: daily prayer and exercise? Am I supposed to fold my hands, or not? Should I bow my head, or does it matter? Should I pray aloud or silently? Eyes open or closed?

And at the end of it all, perhaps the greatest question: Does praying even work? What does it mean to say that prayer works? If prayer does work, how?

These are all important questions. I have long held that prayer is as fundamental to the Christian’s spiritual life as breathing is to the physical life. But before we ask about the how of prayer, we need to know the what. What is prayer?

The best definition of prayer I’ve found is from Thomas Green, a spiritual director.

Prayer is opening your heart and mind to God.

It sounds simple, but it’s not easy. Our hearts and minds are so full of other things (movies, podcasts, Substack posts, work, family, news, social media, music, etc., etc., etc.) that it’s hard to make room for God. Don’t get me wrong, not all those things are bad. But the busyness and hurried pace at which we live makes opening our hearts and minds to God a difficult task, especially at the beginning.

I’ll write more later. For now, set a three-minute timer, and sit quietly until it goes off. Focus your heart and mind on the Lord. It might help to read something from the Gospels first, so you have something specific to focus on. Try Matthew 1:18-25, if you want a suggestion.

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth…” (John 14:16–17, ESV)

Let’s just cut through the fluff and get right to the point: I think many Christians today are either scared of the Spirit, unaware of the Spirit, or confused about the Spirit. Our Pentecostal and Charismatic brothers and sisters tend to be among the most comfortable with the Holy Spirit. But, to put it bluntly, they often seem to be a little off base (I say that with love as a former Pentecostal). Some of the excesses and questionable biblical theology within Pentecostalism have raised red flags among other branches of the Church.

As a result, many Christians are scared of the Spirit’s work. They tend to minimize the Holy Spirit to avoid the problematic practices in Charismatic churches. Usually, these believers place a very high value on Scripture, to the point where, as one pastor put it, “Our functional Trinity is Father, Son, and Holy Bible. We’ve completely missed the Spirit.” While I commend their commitment to God’s Word, I must say that it’s rarely a good idea to make decisions out of fear. We should not be afraid of growing in our relationship with God!

Others who follow Jesus may not be scared of the Spirit, but they are almost completely unaware of the Spirit. They might be pursuing God in a church or denomination that has little, if any, teaching on the Spirit. They know God is Trinity—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. But beyond hearing that when someone gets baptized, they never learn much of anything about the Spirit. For these faithful Christians, the work of the Spirit is largely relegated to the unseen realm, quietly invisible in their lives, in their churches, and in the world today. When the Spirit does work in them, they are unaware.

A third group of believers, perhaps the largest group, is confused about the Spirit. Who is he? What does he do? How does the Spirit relate to my life as a believer? What is the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and how is it different from being filled with the Holy Spirit? How can I be filled with the Spirit? What are spiritual gifts? How do I know what my gifts are? Do people still speak in tongues? What is that? Should I believe the YouTube video claiming to be a prophecy, or the person from my small group who said those things don’t happen anymore? These people want to walk faithfully with the Lord, drink deeply of the Spirit, and remain faithful to the Scriptures. But, they just don’t know how.

So, let me share with you a brief Bible reading list to help us understand him better. I’d encourage you to spend some time reading and reflecting on these passages.

• Gen 1:1-2, the Spirit in Creation

• Ps 104:24-30, the Spirit creates life

• Ezek 34:25-27, the Spirit as part of God’s plan of redemption

• Luke 3:21-22, the Spirit descends on Jesus at his baptism

• Luke 4:1-21, Jesus is led and empowered by the Spirit

• John 1:29-34, Jesus will baptize God’s people with the Spirit

• John 14:15-27, the Spirit is our Helper and Teacher

• John 15:26-27; 16:5-15, the Spirit testifies about Jesus

• Acts 1-2, the Spirit is promised and poured out

• Rom 8:1-17, the Spirit gives life and freedom

• Gal 5:16-26, the Spirit produces the character of Christ in us

• 1 Cor 12-13, the Spirit empowers believers to love and good works

• Eph 4:1-16, the Spirit produces unity and maturity

• Eph 5:15-21, believers should live filled with the Spirit

• 2 Cor 3:7-18, the Spirit transforms believers in glory

• Jude 20-21, believers should pray in the Spirit

“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” —Matthew 5:5

When I was a kid in church in the 80s, we used to sing an old song by The Cathedrals called He Saw What I Could Be. There’s a lyric in the chorus that says, “And all he had to hope for was just a possibility.” As a child of four or five years old, I was convinced the lyrics were, “And all he had to hope for was just a possum in a tree.” Of course, that didn’t make sense! But at five years old, it didn’t have to! I sang it with enthusiasm and meant every word!

Sometimes, things seem like they don’t make sense, but it’s our understanding that needs to change.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught, “Blessed are the meek.” And in his letter to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul wrote, “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.” I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that Paul’s commands don’t jive with Jesus’s Beatitude. When I think of “meek” I don’t think of phrases like “stand firm,” “be courageous,” “be on your guard,” or “be strong.”

What this reveals to me is that I have the wrong definition of meek.

My Dictionary/Thesaurus app gives these as synonyms of “meek.”

• easily imposed on

• lamblike

• mild

• unambitious

• weak

• timid

• frightened

• spineless

• weak-kneed

• wimpish

Now you see why 1 Corithians 16:13 seems to contradict Matthew 5:5. But Jesus was not teaching that it’s blessed to be frightened, unambitious, spineless, or wimpish. Jesus himself was none of these things! He was humble, gentle, and unoffendable, and also self-controlled, confident, and filled with quiet power (to calm the storm, cast out demons, and raise the dead—that’s a lot of power).

The best definition of biblical meekness I’ve found is from Colin Smith in his book Momentum. He says, “Meekness is strength brought under control through submission to God.” It takes far more strength to be unoffendable than it does to lash out in retaliation at the person who insulted you. It takes far more strength to choose holiness than to cave to temptation. It takes more strength to give yourself for the good of another than to put yourself first at the expense of others.

In fact, it takes more strength than I have. That’s why I have to submit to God. When I do, I receive God’s strength to “do everything in love,” as Paul wrote the Corinthians. I can’t make myself meek. But I can choose, through the Holy Spirit in me, to submit to God’s Word, God’s Spirit, and God’s people. And God will give me the strength I need to be meek, to be on guard, to stand firm in the faith, to be courageous, to be strong, and to do everything in love.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. —Ephesians 2:10

“Your assignment is to write a personal mission statement for your life in seven words or less. It must follow this pattern: verb, subject, outcome. What are you called to do? To whom or to where or in what context are you called? And what is the change, effect, or impact you are called to pursue?”

This was what Dr. Wong Loi Sing told our class at Moody Theological Seminary. We were learning to discern and clarify our calling, whether that meant full-time pastoral ministry, international missions work, serving the Lord in the marketplace, or raising a family. God has a calling for your life. Do you know your calling?

In his book, Leadership As An Identity, Dr. Crawford Loritts writes, “There comes a time when you have to stop doing the things that you can do, and even the things that you are improving in, and concentrate on the things you were born to do… What are you born to do?”

I took the assignment seriously. I had already heard God’s call and was serving as a Worship Pastor, but I spent a considerable time in prayer and wrote my verb-subject-outcome personal mission statement in seven words:

Engineering the church to create kingdom glimpses.

Whether I’m leading worship, leading a meeting, preaching, developing leaders, counseling, or meeting with a small group for prayer and discipleship, my calling is to bring God’s design for the church into the lived experience of a congregation so that together we become a preview of the kingdom of heaven. This is my vocation.

What is your calling? What are you born to do? I know those are huge questions that can sometimes feel paralyzing to ask! How does one discern his calling? Where do I start? Here’s a simple way to begin. Bring your prayer journal and write down thoughts as they come!

1. Ask God to show you what you’re believing about yourself that isn’t true.

2. Ask God to show you who he says you are.

3. Ask God to show you the needs and opportunities around you.

4. Try to serve or do something to meet the need or step into the opportunity, and see how it goes. Debrief with God in prayer afterward.

This isn’t a single five-minute prayer. Discovering your calling is a process of discernment over time. It could take weeks, months, or even years. It involves listening and contemplative prayer. It involves asking God clarifying questions as thoughts come to mind. It involves trial and error as you serve in various ways. It’s often helpful to include a trusted Christian friend, a pastor, an elder, or a spiritual director.

There’s a lot more that I don’t have space for in a 500-word blog post. But I hope I said enough to encourage you to get started! For further exploration, here are a few great resources.

• The Call by Os Guinness

• The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson

• Living Fearless by Jamie Winship

Pray. Read. Serve. Share. Listen. Observe.

What is your calling?

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. —Psalm 19:1

I’ve always believed in Scripture memory, but for a long time I didn’t have a clear plan for doing it with my kids. This year, we decided to memorize Psalm 19 together—and it’s been more life-giving than I expected. Here’s what we’ve been doing.

Step 1: Choose a passage to memorize. Psalm 19 is one of my favorites. It’s written in two main parts. The first part, verses 1-6, describes how Creation is continually proclaiming the glory of God. The second part, verses 7-13, is a song about the perfect beauty of God’s Word, the Bible. I’ve heard it said that God has written two great books, the book of nature and the book of Scripture. King David, the author of Psalm 19, would agree!

Step 2: Choose a Bible translation. We chose the ESV. Usually, I’ll read the NLT or NIV with my kids because those versions are a little easier to understand. But the ESV’s slightly more formal wording is actually better for memorizing because it’s just enough different from everyday speech to stick in your mind, yet modern enough to be understandable.

Step 3: Repeat, repeat, repeat. We read it aloud together. One reads while the others repeat. We read and then try to recite smaller portions without reading. And we go over it night after night. Memorizing anything takes consistency and practice!

Step 4: Talk about what it means. My kids could learn to repeat words and phrases without understanding them. But what good would that be? I’ve found that all of us more easily remember the verses when we understand what we’re memorizing. So, we talk about it. What is this verse or stanza about? What does it mean? What is it teaching us about God, or his Word, or ourselves, or others, or the world around us?

Step 5: Pray from the passage. Like step 4, we are more likely to remember a verse we’ve prayed through. Given that the first half of Psalm 19 is all about the sky and the sun proclaiming God’s glory, we’ve been praying a lot lately about Creation. We’ve thanked God for creating a wonderful world for us to live in. We’ve praised God for the beauty we enjoy (and often take for granted) everyday. We’ve asked God to give us wisdom to be good stewards of the earth. We’ve prayed for our extended family who farm. It’s amazing how a few verses can spark so much prayer!

Have you ever given Scripture memorization a try? It’s a great habit to start—especially with kids!