What is Prayer?

An important question

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you,” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Photo by Malachi Cowie on Unsplash

What is prayer? Is it talking to God? What about listening to God? Is it 30 minutes at the beginning of the day, in your quiet time? Is it taking notice of God in moments throughout the day?

If prayer is talking to God, what happens when you run out of things to say? It might surprise you to hear that I’m not typically a big talker (even though, as a pastor, I talk for a living). I’ve always been impressed by people who have a lot to say in their prayers. I’ve often wished I could think of all those things to ask God for my kids/wife/neighbor/etc.

If prayer is listening to God, what happens when God is silent? Did I pray? Was God there? Did he want me to talk—is that why he was quiet? Was that last thought mine, or was God speaking? If God isn’t talking during my listening prayer, does that mean I’ve offended him in some way? Is there a sin I forgot to confess? Is this listening prayer even working?

If prayer happens in your quiet time, does that mean you don’t need to pray the rest of the day? Surely not. But why do pastors frequently encourage people to have a quiet time if prayer should happen throughout the day? Can I pray while I’m working on something, or do I need to stop whatever else I’m doing, close my eyes, and bow my head?

And that brings up another question. What is the right posture for prayer? Should I kneel, sit, or stand? I’ve read in the Bible about people lying facedown on the ground in prayer… is that what I should do? Can I prayer-walk? What about prayer-running? Prayer-calisthenics? Can I check off two boxes at once: daily prayer and exercise? Am I supposed to fold my hands, or not? Should I bow my head, or does it matter? Should I pray aloud or silently? Eyes open or closed?

And at the end of it all, perhaps the greatest question: Does praying even work? What does it mean to say that prayer works? If prayer does work, how?

These are all important questions. I have long held that prayer is as fundamental to the Christian’s spiritual life as breathing is to the physical life. But before we ask about the how of prayer, we need to know the what. What is prayer?

The best definition of prayer I’ve found is from Thomas Green, a spiritual director.

Prayer is opening your heart and mind to God.

It sounds simple, but it’s not easy. Our hearts and minds are so full of other things (movies, podcasts, Substack posts, work, family, news, social media, music, etc., etc., etc.) that it’s hard to make room for God. Don’t get me wrong, not all those things are bad. But the busyness and hurried pace at which we live makes opening our hearts and minds to God a difficult task, especially at the beginning.

I’ll write more later. For now, set a three-minute timer, and sit quietly until it goes off. Focus your heart and mind on the Lord. It might help to read something from the Gospels first, so you have something specific to focus on. Try Matthew 1:18-25, if you want a suggestion.